Hi, I'm Colin

My good friend Colin is also single. Sometimes we trade advice. For instance, Colin has advised me that no guy wants me to wear a turtleneck sweater on a first date. Also, maybe I shouldn't mention the cat until the third or fourth date. Or possibly, avoid mentioning the cat at all until I'm sure the guy is really, really into me. And then introduce the cat in small doses so that the guy doesn't flee in terror when confronted with Satan in Feline Form. Duly noted, Colin.

In exchange, I've been advising Colin that a little confidence goes a long way. Take Dubai Man for instance: sure, he was CRAZEE. But he still ended up with my number because he had the cojones to ask for it. Colin is awesome and non-crazy. And don't we all want more awesome non-crazy guys asking us out? YES. Yes, we do.

Colin: So, I just walk up to the girl and ask her for her number?

Me: Sure. Or ask her if you can buy her a coffee.

C: I can't do that!

Me: You can't? Why not?

C: What if she says 'no'?

Me: Um... then you go on with your day?

C: Oh. Huh. I see what you mean. Yeah, I like this idea! So what do I say?

Me: You say 'Hi, I'm Colin. I'd love to buy you a coffee sometime. Can I get your number?'

C: Yeah. Actually, that sounds GOOD.

Me: Okay, great! You wanna practice it? I'll be the girl.

C: Yeah! Okay.... Excuse me, I'm sorry to bother you, Miss. I was just wondering if...

Me: What? STOP. "'I'm sorry to bother you, Miss'? What are you, a butler? You sound like a weenie. 'Hi, I'm Colin. I'd love to buy you a coffee sometime. Can I get your number?' That's all you have to say.

C: Okay. Let me try again. "Hi, excuse me, how's it going? I'm wondering if I could get your number?"

Me: No, Dude. Don't water things down with the 'excuse me' stuff. 'Hi, I'm Colin' That's your opening. 'Hi, I'm Colin'.

C: Okay, okay. Let's see... Hi, can I interrupt you for a sec...

Me: DUDE! 'Hi, I'm Colin.'

C: Right! Okay! I can get this! Hi, I'm Colin and I'm sorry to... oh CRAP.

Me: ...

C: ...

Me: It's okay. I'll write it out for you and we'll practice again later.