ProngTwo=NOT hideous

You may be tempted to think that the reason for my current state of singledom is that I am actually 6'9", 450 lbs, balding and have the face of a day-old peeled apple. But in fact: NOT SO. Just this weekend, I had confirmation from two distinct and completely reliable sources that I may even be edging on the side of Attractive.

Source One: Giant Donut-Eating Stranger* in front of CoffeeTime
While walking home from the pharmacy, GDES and I have the following conversation:

GDES [as I am walking past]: Excuse me! Can I ask you something?

Me [stopping]: Um... okay.

GDES: Why you SO BEAUTIFUL?

Me: uuuuuuuuhhhh....

GDES: Imma ask you something else!

Me: ....

GDES: How long you been married?

Me: I'm not... uh... I'm not married.

GDES: WHAT? How can YOU not be married?! How long you been with your boyfriend?

Me [walking away]: Okay, well. Right. I guess I should get going now.

GDES [shouting after me]: He a LUCKY MAN, BABY!

* both the stranger AND the donut were giant.

Source Two: The Interwebs
I receive the following email:

Dear ProngTwo:

We are very pleased to report that you are in the top half of OkCupid's most attractive users.

[Blar de blar, site stats, blah, blah, blah, algorithms, yada yada yada.]

You will now see more attractive people in your match results. [Some other stuff you don't care about.] The people we recommend will be more attractive. Also! You'll be shown to more attractive people in their match results.

[Additional drivel about how to login.] And, no, we didn't just send this email to everyone on OkCupid. Go ask an ugly friend and see.

Sincerely,

OKCupid

So you SEE, Internet? A stranger and an automated interwebs messaging system cannot be wrong. Clearly I'm not nearly as hideous as you imagined. So... mystery not solved. Although a wild guess could be that I'm still single because I'm impossibly picky and ruthlessly cynical. You can't really get an Xtreme Make-Over for that, can you? DAMMIT.