Breaking News: ProngTwo is NOT dead inside

So after about a frillion dates with guys I've wanted to flee from as fast as... um... shit. What's something that's really fast? A cheetah. Yeah. I wanted to flee from those guys like a cheetah. No wait. No wait. I'm a gazelle and THEY are the cheetahs. And I'm fleeing because instead of being all sleek and cool and awesome like cheetahs, they're actually more like jackals with their slobbery crooked teeth and weird anti-social idiosyncrasies...

You know what? Never mind that whole metaphor. Gazelles, cheetahs, jackals. Just scrap that whole bit. I'm nothing like a gazelle. I mean, who are we kidding? I don't even run for the bus; I just take my time and wait for the next one to show up.

ANYWAY. After going on all of those bad dates, I was beginning to wonder if the problem wasn't so much the guys as the possibility that the old Slightly Blackened Heart-of-Gold has been kicked around a few too many times by the Douchebags of ProngTwo Yesteryear. Maybe these guys I've been hanging out with are totally awesome, but I just can't see that because I'm basically dead inside. Which, you know... not great for the overall success of Prong Two.

But then! This weekend I met The Lead Guitarist, a long-time friend of The Lawyer and The Lawyer's Wing-Woman. And you know what? The Lead Guitarist did not activate the cheetah/gazelle reflex. At all. In fact, I may have done that retarded little arm-pumping action when I saw that he emailed me on Sunday. Though probably not. I mean, what kind of loser does that stupid arm-pumping action anyway? Pfftt. (Probably) Not me. In all likelihood, I am the picture of email-receiving coolness. AS FAR AS YOU KNOW.

All this to say that regardless of how things progress with The Lead Guitarist, I'm very relieved to report that despite all the abuse the Slightly Blackened Heart-of-Gold has weathered, it's still functioning within normal parameters. Which may or may not include arm-pumping. Or whatever.